4.01.2013

MEMO: Life Changes


Memo

To:  Friends, Family, Blog-o-Sphere
From:  Blue and Bettina’s Mumma
Date:  April 1, 2013
Subject:  Major Decision

I wanted to share with all of my friends, family and blog-o-sphere friends the life altering decision I have been agonizing over for the last month.  It was not an easy decision to reach but I gave it a lot of soul searching and I feel pretty good that the new direction I will be going in is the right decision for me.

It is no secret that I am a fanatic regarding all things greyhound.  And particularly my own babies.  Greyhounds are among the things that make me most happy in life.  Since I can think of nothing better than to be a retired racing greyhound, I have decided to make that dream come true.  I will be giving notice at my job and taking some time away to make this a reality. 

I have found a plastic surgeon in Kuala Lumpur who specializes in human to canine plastic surgery.  He has assured me that by the time he is done, I will be a very tall greyhound.  I’m probably going to have to pay a little extra for the necessary liposuction or I’ll also look like a very fat greyhound.  I believe that skipping the initial life phases of a greyhound is best in my particular case.  I’ve never been a very fast runner and I stuck to the field events while on the track team in high school.  So I will go directly to the retirement portion of a greyhound’s life.

I have decided the best way to pay for the numerous procedures I’ll need is to mortgage the house.  Then I’ll rent it out and build a lovely kennel on part of the land.  Whoever rents the house will have charge of feeding, watering and poop-scooping for Blue, Bettina and I. 

I am very excited to step into this new chapter in my life.  I’m looking forward to a life of ease with comfy beds, treats and snuggles.  We ask that all our friends send your best thoughts for a successful and ultimately rewarding transition.  Since I will no longer be able to type once I have paws, this will be my final blog entry.  

11 comments:

  1. at last!! a full bitch!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I always did think it would be great to come back as one of my own dogs! Enjoy your new life of leisure!

    PS Loved the comment you left on my blog. It was laugh out loud funny!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I knew we could count on something "insanely" great from you today! Just go quietly with those nice young men in their nice white coats...

    ReplyDelete
  4. CRAZY! Downright crazy and what a perfect announcement today!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am so jealous. Who doesn't look at their spoiled greyhounds and think that is definitely the life. One thought though. You may fly there first/business class, but they will stick you in a crate in cargo on the trip back. Eek!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have thought before that they live the life. You just have to make sure that you get a good owner that will spoil you properly.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love this post! Gave me a good laugh. If I ever come back as something other than human, I'd want to be a spoiled house pet. They have the life!

    I love to see good pet owners like you. I work with animals at my job and I see too many bad things. When I go around blogland and read people's stories and see their pictures, it makes my heart happy!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Your April Fools' Day went SO much better than mine! Where can I sign up for surgery?

    ReplyDelete
  9. STay human. Who will drive the dogs to the park, or give them there treats or worse yet Cinnamon wonders who will really be top dog? Have a wonderful Wednesday!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lol, you had me going there for a bit!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think I can comment now, but I've forgotten what I was going to say, lol! A great post:)

    ReplyDelete

Bark Back and Let Us Know Whats on Your Mind!